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Running from karma…or death (or something)

So let me begin by saying a little prayer that reincarnation isn’t punitive and I dont come back as my neighbor’s half starved dog. My problem is I live with someone that I don’t love and wish would die in a horrible accident. I use his toothbrush to cleanimagek the toilet. I once marinated his steak in toilet water for a full day. I didn’t start hating him until he started texting women, all kinds, and you can fill in the blanks on the immoral things that he texted them that makes me wash his clothes with fresh cat turds. So why don’t i just leave? Because of the worlds most sweetest, most adorable four old that unfortunately loves this immoral bastard. My sun rises and sets on that child’s sweet face and I would do anything… Even put up with someone I loathe to make his childhood wonderful. But it leaves me with a lot of energy.. All negative. but I’ve decided to start trying to funnel it into more positive projects. Does it help? Yes. Does it help all the time? No… But here’s to hoping for a better way to deal with it that doesn’t involve homicide Continue reading

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rising of the phoenix

I suppose I should start from when I had my epiphany.  A friend of mine from highschool died in August from a brain clot.  She was my age-32. It hit me hard… and it made me start to think…If I died right now would I be proud of the person that I was?  and I wouldn’t be.  I’ve always wanted to be a different person but did not have the guts. So I decided then and there to stop trying to please everyone and just go ahead and become that person that I would be proud of. I wanted to be someone who was confident in her abilities,  someone not afraid to take criticrism, someone not afraid to love freely even if that wasn’t returned, not afraid to speak her mind.  most of all not afraid to be happy.

 

But where to start?  well Ive always been a somewhat ok artist, but I never really tried because I didn’t think I was good enough.  but oh how i envied people who can create something that can evoke an emotion just by seeing it. I knew the only way to get good is to just do it, even if its bad because thats the only way to grow.  And yeah a lot of my little doodles were awful.  but i was teaching myself, finding out what worked and what didn’t. I’m nowhere near good, but I have a sense of pride in myself.  So that’s a start

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